Saturday, March 1, 2014

The Five Love Languages of Children Get 4 Stars

Book review of the Five Lonve Languages of Children.  Alohamora Open a Book
Last Saturday I ran a Ragnar Relay here in Arizona.  I love running, and I love being active.  It helps balance out all of the baking and eating I like to do.

Ragnar is a 12 member team event where you end up running 3 legs individually. The distances all vary.  As a team we ran 202 miles and came in 15th out of 200 and some odd teams in our Mixed Open division.  Not too shabby. 

I thought it would be fun to listen to an audio book during my runs.

I full on realize that it is nerdy to listen to audio books rather than a cool music mix, but to be honest I stink at music mixes.  I know lots of songs and can sing along to them (though I do not always sing the right words- The Apologize song I sang as, "It's too late to call the Gize" for the longest time).  However, I can not tell you who sang the songs for the life of me.  

Therefore. I really can't make a good music mix without knowing it all a bit better.  It really is ridiculous, and entertaining to those that know me well.  Sure, I can tell you authors of a myriad of books, and I can tell you 780 is the Dewey number for Music, but I do know music artists or popular culture in general.

I posted the above picture on my instagram account last weekend in between runs and a friend said she loves running to audio books b/c then you're strengthening your mind and your body.  I like that.  I think I'll say I am just multi-tasking rather than being a nerd while I run.  

The Five Love Language of Children by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell was my entertainment while running Ragnar Del Sol.  I honestly thought it was a pretty great book, and the audio version of it was well done.  I found the the subject matter interesting and thought provoking.  All in all, I think I would give this book 4 out of 5 stars.  

Several years ago I had read The Five Love Languages and was enlightened on the concept of love languages.  The five love languages are Touch, Service, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, and Gifts.  The concept brought new understanding to my relationship with my parents as well as my boyfriend (now husband).  

Since having children I have always made comments that this or that must be my child's love language.  Finally, I got around to reading/listening to the this version about children.  It really was just as enlightening.  

First, I learned that children can go through periods where their primary love language changes.  This is very good to know.  At one age they can really need cuddles and "touch," but at another age they need Words of Affirmation.  The authors do a great job giving examples throughout the book about the various love languages and how they are apparent at various ages.  For example, they even state that Words of Affirmation is very important to many 5 to 10 year olds.  These examples and this knowledge makes this book much more useful and valuable as a reference book for years to come.  

Second, I learned that once you know your child's primary love language it may change how you approach things or situations and it'll help you understand your child better, but you can't forget the other love languages.  All children, and adults, need to be able to give and receive love in all languages.

The authors mention throughout the book, and in the first book, that it is all about keeping emotional tanks full.  I really do feel it is important to think about love languages and to ask ourselves is the love we are giving the love children are receiving.  I feel that when we and our loved ones feel loved it changes behavior and outlook as well as a multitude of other things.  

Honestly, a good non-fiction book like this one that is applicable to me and my situation now is always a good read.  I found it a bit repetitive at the end, but a lot of parenting books seem to be that way.  I think a non-fiction book that wasn't may actually get all 5 stars then.   

All in all it was a very enjoyable read/listen while running.  I especially enjoyed the in depth segments/sections about the different love languages and how it is apparent to children as well as how to apply it as a parent.  

Oh, and for bonus points, this book is not too expensive of an audio book purchase; it was less than $12 on iTunes. 

Amazon had the following book description: 

"Does your child speak a different language? Sometimes they wager for your attention, and other times they ignore you completely. Sometimes they are filled with gratitude and affection, and other times they seem totally indifferent. Attitude. Behavior. Development. Everything depends on the love relationship between you and your child. When children feel loved, they do their best. But how can you make sure your child feels loved?Since 1992, Dr. Gary Chapman's best-selling book The 5 Love Languages has helped millions of  couples develop stronger, more fulfilling relationships by teaching them to speak each others' love language. Each child, too, expresses and receives love through one of five different communication styles. And your love language may be totally different from that of your child. While you are doing all you can to show your child love, he may be hearing it as something completely opposite. Discover your child's primary language and learn what you can do to effectively convey unconditional feelings of respect, affection, and commitment that will resonate in your child's emotions and behavior."    

Have you read this book?  What did you think?  Any thoughts/comments?  Do you agree with the 4 stars?  

Happy reading!  

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